by Melissa D. Ing

Created on: August 12, 2006   Last Updated: April 25, 2007

It is no longer just young married couples seeking to permanently adopt a child. Single parents, are choosing to adopt a second child, as are single professional people of both genders. The road to adopting can be long, rocky and expensive, as people try to find the 'right' match.

Having worked as a Paralegal, I would advise anyone wishing to adopt, to get rid of the image of the perfect newborn being handed to them at a hospital. What I would advise pre-adoptive people to consider are the following:

How long are you prepared to wait for your perfect adoption 'match'?

Some people are adamant in that they must adopt a newborn, of the same ethnic background as themselves. Driven by the belief that it will be easier to intergrate a newborn with the same background, often leads to a decade long wait. Some people have become so desperate for their perfect 'match' that they have taken out personal ads in newspaper for mother considering adoption to respond to.

While private adoptions of this nature are on the rise, some people have crossed the line into downright illegal activity. It is always illegal to offer a birth mother money for her child.

How far are you prepared to go personally?

Believe me when I tell you, that when you fill out prospective adoption forms, no stone will be left unturned in the screening process. Any skeletons you may have will be discovered, including but not limited to criminal convictions and personal bankruptices. Always be honest, and get your own affairs in order before seeking to adopt a child.

Are you prepared for the monetary costs of adoption?

While it is illegal to pay for a child, you will have to pay for the services of an Adoption Attorney/Lawyer. These fees can often run into the ten's of thousands. Other fees such as psychological assessments for prospective parents can also be incurred.

How to possibly speed up the adoption process?

If you are not dead set on adopting a newborn, there is good news.
In New York City, there are currently 10,000 children over the age of seven waiting to be place into permanent homes. Absolutely no problem at all, if a prospective parent{s}are prepared to permanently adopt an older child who may not be of the same ethnic background as themselves. Or a child that may have some emotional or physical disabilities.

Many Canadians are now seeking out the possibilities of foreign adoptions. I have two friends who each adopted a little girl from China, and the process only took one year. Another couple I know, adopted a child from the Ukraine, a far less difficult process than trying to adopt a baby in Canada, despite the red tape of dealing with another country's laws.

Another country encouraging foreign adoptions is Ethiopia. Last year 1500 children from Ethiopia were adopted by US and Canadian citizens.

Bottom Line to consider...

When adopting any child it is important to evaluate what you can and can't handle. Sounds harsh, but if you are not prepared to deal with an older child, a child of a different race, or a child with disabilities, don't adopt one. The extensive pre-screening process before adoptions, will ensure the best 'fit' for both parent{s} and child, to ensure a positive family relationship develops.

Learn more about this author, Melissa D. Ing.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.