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What happened with "being yourself"?

In this new millennium, the 'freedom' to be ourselves is much more prevalent. We can be almost anything we want to be, and not tried, judged, and sentenced to ridicule or ostracism.

In the early 50's, when I was born, that wasn't the case. So many societal influences came into play - religion and the church, parental morals and values, the cold war and politics, music, TV, etc. Society and its rules limited our emergence as individuals - according to the norms of the time.

Then the family unit played a large role 50 years ago (still does today). In my home, affection was almost non-existent - except the perfunctory goodnight kiss. We did not speak the word 'sex', but rather spelled it out when necessary. My parents' strict religious upbringing was passed on to us. All of us kids became introverted and insecure. Though some of my siblings continue in their religious pursuits, I do not. I consider myself spiritual, but not a member of any organized religion. I had become so 'turned off' to it because of how we were brought up. Also, we were seen and not heard, unless spoken to. In our high-school years, we rarely attended school functions. We essentially were isolated from a large part of our world - physically, mentally, emotionally, and in my case - spiritually.

And each of us, in our own way, rebelled. These were forces placed on us by our parents and our home life. They were simply raising us the only way they knew how - the way they were taught.

Then, of course, there were our hormones - which caused such confusion in our psyches, we just didn't know what we should or shouldn't do. In my case, I had no one to ask - so I came to my own conclusions and decisions - and usually they were not good ones. I watched my peers and how they did things - and tried to create a balance between how I was raised, and how my peers pressured their 'norms' on me.

So, finding the path that led to 'being myself', and progressing down its rocky course - was a tumultuous process. It was riddled with many pitfalls along the way; some self-induced because of ignorance, and some influenced by outside forces, or the lack of. Many of those forces were out of our control back then. We simply had to muddle through them the best we could.

And that is still true today. The media, drugs, aids, terrorism, suicide - so many negative forces bombard our psyches. The Internet is both a good and an evil, depending on the mind that is perceiving it. The events at Columbine, and lately an Omaha mall,


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