by Les Scammell

Created on: December 06, 2007   Last Updated: January 20, 2009

The term 'playing with his privates' can have many different meanings. Boys often walk around with their hands in their pants, even when they are adults. They are not necessarily 'playing' with their private. For young boys, it must seem like a strange attachment to their bodies. If they are playing, can you stop them? Should you stop them?

In simple terms, it is very difficult to stop a youngster from playing with his privates. From the time a baby can explore his body until well into old age, the hand of a male will naturally gravitate to that area. The reasons are many but the bottom line is, you will never stop the habit.

One reason may well date back to our ancestral roots. The hand covering that area protected what was an important region since reproduction was an important aspect of 'manhood'. Rather than stopping the activity, it is wiser to teach your son what is appropriate and what is not. This includes where and when.

For a young child, as they explore their body they learn that some things hurt - like if they stick their finger in their eye. They also learn that some things feel good - like playing with themselves. If you teach them that this is bad, they may take this through to adulthood - feeling good is bad. It is during these early years they learn that touching can cause an erection. However, as they become toilet trained they learn that not all touching leads to an erection. They start to learn control.

As a parent our role is to teach our children what is appropriate. What you can and cannot do in public, in the home and amongst other people. If this is done with a little sensitivity you will find that the child's fascination with that area will diminish and that other aspects of life will take over - until that is, they start to take notice of girls, then it starts again.

Rather than drawing attention to the activity, which is normally a subconscious one anyway, the easiest way to discourage inappropriate behaviour is through distraction - finding something else for their hands and minds to do. Overtime they will 'get out' of the habit.

As the child gets older, if the activity persists, you can start to explain what is appropriate and what is not. If you make a big fuss over the issue, then you will reinforce the habit. If you incorporate punishment you could be sending the wrong signals. Boys generally grow out of the overt playing with privates before school age. Sure, their hands may return but that is often only when bored. If you don't make an issue of it, it won't become an issue.

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