by Caroline Atkins

Created on: December 05, 2007

In an ideal world, every person in the world would have their own spacious walk-in closet. But because world hunger and homelessness are more important priorities, I digress. Unfortunately, many people do not have their own closet, or even a walk-in closet. For many people, along with the joys of marriage comes the challenges of sharing a closet.

Sharing a closet does not have to be a bad experience. It can be a wonderful opportunity to share your unwanted clothes with less fortunate people. Sharing a closet also gives you the opportunity to be more organized as you start your new life with your partner.

Before I got married, I lived in a nice home with a large bedroom and a huge walk-in closet. The closet was big enough that I really never needed to get rid of any clothes. Even after living in my home for years, there was still plenty of space for all those clothes I had outgrown or never wore. All I ever really needed was more hangers. Then I got married, moved into a condo, and shared a closet. I had a small space in which to occupy my entire wardrobe, and was forced to give away everything I didn't currently wear. Needless to say, this was actually a very good thing.

If one spouse occupies the closet first, a designated area should be cleared for the incoming spouse. In most cases, this should be half of the closet. However, if one of you for some reason has (and must have) more clothes than the other, then that person should be allowed to have a larger space in the closet.

If you spend an afternoon going through the closet to remove items or make more space, do not mock pieces of clothing from your partner's past life. Do not say, "You actually wore this?" or "this is hideous," or anything else negative and insulting. The last thing you want to do is make the closet sharing experience more unpleasant. You already have enough to adjust to without bringing in a load of hurt feelings.

If the closet space is tight, evaluate what needs to go in the closet. For example, many people hang tee shirts that can be folded and put in a dresser. Jean s can be in a dresser. We put up hooks to "hang" jeans from on the wall, since we wear jeans frequently and don't like to put them in the dresser. Buy a dresser, and stay organized. Some people bring to the mutual closet unique collections of items. She may have 15 pairs of shoes, he may have 200 ties. If either of these are not frequently used (monthly), and space is tight, they should be moved to storage where they can be retrieved as needed. Work with each other.

My husband and I are still sharing a closet and looking forward to the day when we will each have our own closet. However, it is not even something I think about often, as we have found a way to make it work. On the other hand, if the biggest problem with your relationship is sharing a closet, consider yourself lucky! With a little time and a little patience, you too, can share a closet with your partner.

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