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Personally I hope never to be aggressive at any time unless I am needing to be so to protect myself or another. 'Assertiveness' may in-fact be the word which is called for here, unless we are dealing with those who mix up the idea of pain and pleasure.

Assertiveness, whether in the bedroom or in the office, requires self belief and confidence. Some women may find it difficult to be assertive during sex because of a low self esteem. If a woman doesn't feel good about herself physically then she is more likely to be less assertive when it comes to spontaneity.

Many women, faced by perfect ideals in the media, find it hard to see themselves as truly sexy, and so find themselves unable to behave in a sexy way.

Signs that a woman isn't happy with her body are that she avoids certain areas of herself being viewed by her partner, preferring to cover up or turn off the light during sex or undressing. She may also spend time comparing herself to other women who she sees as being more attractive than she is.

Not only does a woman need confidence in herself but she needs total confidence in her partner in-order to feel completely free to let go sexually. To be free to experiment and to fulfill her desires a woman needs to feel safe to do so.

It can also be the case that an unassertive woman just isn't fueled by passion and isn't having such a good time. Just like men, women need to feel excited to build up energy during sex.

This could be due to the relationship in question or may be a physical matter, perhaps to do with hormones. In-which case there may be help for a flagging libido medically.

Lastly, the ability to feel uninhibited during sex can rest with a persons beliefs. If a woman doesn't feel comfortable about sex itself or believes that the role of a woman is a passive one then she probably will not be assertive.

Learn more about this author, Bridget Webber.
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