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There is an old American Indian saying, "You must be a best friend, to have a best friend." This is true. Likewise the saying, "You must first love yourself before you can truly love someone else." This may sound vain or even narcissist, but really it is not.

The easiest way to see the difference between what makes a best friend and what doesn't, the easiest way is to do a side by side comparison of the traits of each. Let's call the 'others' acquaintances, since they aren't really friends.

An acquaintance is one who will listen to someone talking bad about you, and who might actually add a few things. A bad friend is one who will invite that bad talker out into the parking lot with the intent of straightening them out, big time.

An acquaintance is someone who will try to calm you when you are feeling bad because of a tragedy. A best friend is the person who cries with you, and doesn't mind if you cry on their shoulder.

An acquaintance is the person who will ask how your family is doing. A true friend doesn't. They not only knows the names of every family member, but they also know exactly how each is doing.

An acquaintance is someone who will knock on your door and wait politely for you to invite them in. A best friend walks right in...your home is their home and visa versa.

An acquaintance shows interest by asking what you are doing. A best friend shows interest by asking how they can help with what you are doing.

An acquaintance will shake your hand or pat you on the shoulder. A best friend will give you a hug and/or a kiss.

An acquaintance will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting right beside you in the cell, saying, "I'm not sure what happened, but we sure had fun!"

An acquaintance tells you about the most beautiful thing they've ever seen. A best friend doesn't have to because you were there to see it with them.

An acquaintance will sometimes ask you for help. A best friend always asks for help, because they trust you and know that you will give it.

Best friends are people who trust you, and who you can trust. They aren't perfect, and never try to make it seem that they are. After all, you are not perfect either, and they know it and love you anyway. They don't try to change you, but they are right there, along for the trip. They expect less of you than you do of yourself. They are supportive of you and aren't afraid to tell you how they honestly feel, even if that isn't what you want to hear; they are honest with you. They care far less about your religion, the color of your skin, your gender, or your political views, than they do about the things that make you happy. They aren't jealous of what you know, what you can do, or who you know, they take joy in those things.

Through our lifetimes, we call many people best friends. Yet in each lifetime, we are blessed if we have two or three true bast friends. I am very lucky, and very blessed. I've had six. I'm even more blessed in that I'm married to my best friend of all.

Learn more about this author, Rex Trulove.
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