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Out of sight - out of mind or....
Absence makes the heart grow fonder...

Contradicting statements at best, but true in both cases depending on the two who are involved.

I started my LDR (long distance relationship) in November of 2004. I was 3 months widowed and he was 5 months widowed. Our relationship sprung from the depths despair and of grieving. Not the best of circumstances to begin a relationship for sure, and I by no means advocate it, but it is what it is, and we made the best of it... it happens.

What I have learned from this relationship I wish I had learned 30 years ago. Commitment, communication and trust are paramount for an LDR to survive, but how is that so different from any relationship? The only difference that I see between applying these characteristics to a regular relationship vs an LDR is the level at which they are applied. Regular, and by "regular I mean in-person, same city, near in proximity, relationships have the advantage of instant gratification, ie; being able to fulfill your needs at just about any moment of the day. LDR's must wait, plan and prepare for the time you spend, therefore it is imperative you fall back on the basics. If you find yourself in an argument in an LDR, you must use all your resources in the areas of commitment and communication to weather it. In a normal relationship, these resources can be substituted for other more fulfilling, perhaps physical things, at least for a while - surely long enough to convince yourself that you can survive differences, eventually like all rouses though, this might not be enough.

There were times that both he and I were crawling the walls wondering if the other was flirting with other people and when one of us didn't call at an appointed time,etc., our insecurities became all consuming. After a time we took control of these things and settled down into this relationship applying tried and true methods of holding our relationship together.

Developing deep trust, by upholding all the promises I made, calling when I said I would, doing what I said I would etc and he did the same. When we were on the phone we talked...no, I mean we REALLY talked - about all the things that were important to us, not just about the superficial levels of our lives as you tend to do in a normal relationship. We learned to pick our battles and not to sweat the small stuff. We committed to each other and made this a priority. We did not take our time together for granted. We knew that it would be at least

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