5 of 8

Write now Article Tools

Page 2 of 2

in his drawers and various other spots. I'd throw them at him, break them, threaten to call the police, but nothing worked. He couldn't hold a job, and really, he wasn't looking for one either. He went to his grandmother for money, nickeling and dime-ing her for every bit he could get. I worked, but even that wasn't much good as he would try to get as much of my paycheck out of me as he could. Bills wouldn't get paid because money would disappear from my purse on a regular basis. Always he blamed someone else, yet the someone else he would blame he would continue to have in our home.

His jealousies and paranoia got worse over the three years we were together. He didn't want me to take my cell phone with me to work, because he might need it if "someone called about a job", when in reality he used the cell phone I was paying for to make his drug connections. His grandmother was forced to bail us out of jam after jam, and I was getting tired of going to her. I flat out refused to go to her myself. She'd call me to see if he really needed the money for this or that, and I'd tell her yes, we need it for that, but if you give it to him, he'll spend it on crack. His behavior, in my opinion, was what attributed to her stroke the last month we were together. He would accuse me of cheating on him, of using the crack myself, and of trying to find someone new. If I asked for extra hours at work it was because I didn't want to be with him, or I was seeing someone at work. I had to have him banned from my job to keep him from showing up unexpectedly.

Our fighting had gotten so out of hand that the state intervened in behalf of my children. I tried to leave him, even got a restraining order, but he wormed his way back in full of "I'm sorry's" and promises he was done with the crack. The last straw was when he stole my debit card and stayed gone all night long. I kept trying to get in touch with him, but couldn't find him anywhere. Finally, he called me about 3 pm the following day. By this time, I had decided the only way I was going to be rid of his addiction was to leave, and leave everything behind. I packed up what I needed and what my kids needed, called my parents and had them come get them and our dog. By the time Mike came home, I was ready to go. He gave me the debit card, what little was left on it, and I walked away from him.

Shortly after I left, he got in trouble for selling crack. It didn't surprise me. He spent 8 months in jail, and I will say it did get him off the crack, but I would never go back to him. The trauma he caused in my life and in the lives of my children is still too raw, too fresh for me to even think about it. He calls now and then and I do talk to him...as a friend and no more. I think I will always care about him, but I cannot be a major part of his life after having dealt with what I did. Crack ruined our relationship, his jealousies and paranoia cemented the break.

Learn more about this author, Kelly Sandefur.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

• << previous page
• 1
• 2

Add your voice

Know something about Testimonies: Living with a crack addict in the family?
We want to hear your view. Write now!