It was an early morning in March of 2004, the sun was bright,the air was fresh, and soundly in my ear my spouse said "I love you",clearly enough it felt like the first kiss, those simple words reminded me why I was so happy and how perfect my life had been, if I had only
known it was going to be the last time I'd hear that.

So what happens next? Why didn't I or many other spouses get to hear that again? And if they do, it is without substance, easily said it is another person they have found, right? Well in reality, it is not that the cheating spouse has found a new love, new love isn't found from one

day to another, they haven't found anything in fact they have lost a love, both spouses have lost, whether one found a replacement or detours,it isn't simply meeting someone and forgetting about your marriage, it is a process that involves many factors and takes place with one another.

In often times the victims of the affair will say, I was so good to him or her, I did everything I could to make him or her happy, did we? Well either we were to comfortable making our selves happy thinking we were the luckiest spouse or perhaps, the other person lacked something in their lives, not necessarily the sex, or the communication, but something they weren't able to express with their spouse, and may be not even with the other, because in most instances it is only a fling, that extinguishes as soon as stress arrives, it is a false foundation of love, it is but a fictional sense of adventure, passion, new flesh, new personality and sexual lust, an expression of " I get to do things I like that I didn't do with my spouse" a mere deception when life it self throws the curve balls and things aren't so perfect anymore, so do you give your cheating spouse a second chance? Or is this your opportunity to put them in their place? Is your spouse asking you for the second chance or are they full of arrogance not admitting a true apology, blaming you on top of all the pain they have caused? Which ever the case is, it is now your decision to survive the aftermath by the choices you decide to make. The trauma phase happens when it is still present, it is shaping your mentality, shifting your goals and dreams, NOT SHATTERING THEM, it is a turn of ideas and change on beliefs, it all comes down to finding your self, knowing who you are as a person.

Honesty is key, anger and resentment are hard to ignore but when there is love there is hope To redeem a marriage, the betrayed

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