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I've been thinking so much about life lately and I've come to the conclusion that we should parallel computers more in our lives.

Let's face it, life is just about changing or upgrading programs and hardware anyway. When you're first born you're the latest and greatest model right out of the box but a week later you're outdated and new models are already in production.

You start out with Baby version 1 which has horrible bodily function outputs. It would behoove IBM or Microsoft to develop an upgrade to slow or stop this process. While they're at it this program is very noisy and doesn't really do much but continually use resources.

Toddler v2.1 has many entertaining games included but they become redundant quickly. Also the motion hardware needs a stop switch.

Reliable virus software should be installed at this point but chances are you'll catch something anyway. There is a good chance that Baby v1 may run again randomly at this stage or any stage in the future. To prevent this use the anti-spywear version of snip-snip.

This is an excellent time to install College-fund v1.3 (see College v18.1 below) and make sure you upgrade each year and after every new install of Baby v1.

Child v4.8 spends several hours a day downloading new data at a central remote location and will run remedial data almost every evening. Focus is an issue with this program. It often jumps from task to task without ever completing any and continually has question prompts.

Preteen v10.5 is where trouble can begin. Interaction between sibling and parenting modules can become strained and this can slow down all household programs. Bathing v2.1 should be upgraded at this point and the back-talk driver should be uninstalled if at all possible.

Teen v13.2 is the longest timeframe where upgrades are not available but desperately needed. There will be different issues here depending on if you have baby boy or baby girl installed but regardless puberty v12.8 will install at random times and will never be configured correctly. A fix has never been found for this bug. Outburst v8.6b, dating v9.8 and I-Hate-You v10.7, among others, will become activated at arbitrary times with no observable patterns, this is due to the Hormones add-in that is embedded in this program.

College v18.1 has hundreds of options and varies in cost from state to state but is usually a pay as you go system. In most cases the program will run remotely for long stretches of time and will only run after payment has been made. Masters v21.2

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