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Is a college degree a mandatory prerequisite for a young woman seeking a life partner? Do you think that a college graduate would make a more stable mate than his uneducated counterpart? I was the type that leaned more toward the creative, artistic fellows in my youth. I always followed my heart, caring little for the material stuff; I was drawn to the creative potential of the artist. In life, more than one kind of nourishment exists, food for the soul and food for the body. I remember that my father was always disappointed with my choice in partners. His line was "it's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor one." At the time, I thought he was callous and unfeeling. I struggled financially for years because of my choices but I wouldn't shift a thing if I had to do a repeat performance. (Perish the thought.)

Years later, being a single mother, and working two jobs just to feed, clothe, and house my kids, I was singing a different tune. I married a man who was financially secure so that I could stop worrying about grocery money. Admittedly, financial security had now become my highest priority. The free spirit of my twenties had now taken a back seat to the stark reality of my thirties. When you are responsible only for yourself, you can afford to be a dreamer!

Five years later, my security ended again when my husband died. I was on the rollercoaster of life. Just when I was starting to feel safe and comfortable, I had to be a single mom again. This time, however, financially I was secure. When I started dating again, I told myself that I would never again date a man who was still "struggling for grocery money."

I found myself gravitating toward older men. Coincidentally, all the men who were in my age group now, their forties, were married and lying about it, divorced and paying child support or drug dealers. What's a girl to do? I had two relationships with guys who were twenty years my senior. They were both healthy and active. What difference does chronological age mean anyway when you're in your fifties?

Now, in my sixties, I don't think that I will ever marry again but I'm dating the guy next door. I have my space and he has his. By the way, I picked a man a little younger than myself this time. My children are grown; my grandchildren are growing up quickly and now I'm only responsible for myself again. I have come full circle. I can combine the free spirit and rebellious nature of my youth with the wisdom and experience that comes with age to enjoy the best of both worlds.

After many years of teaching in a community college environment, I did conclude for the most part, that college students had a sense of ambition with their feet firmly planted on the ground and clear cut goals for their lives. Most of them were not only going to school full time but also working a part or fulltime job.

Learn more about this author, Rebecca Ashby.
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