5 of 53

No

Write now Article Tools

On-line dating sites can be very useful for some people to connect with potential dates, but unfortunately, one cannot trust on-line dating site participants any more than one can trust random people at singles bars or nightclubs. This is not to say that there are no trustworthy people out there on-line, just that people should use the same caution in filtering out the riffraff as they would when meeting potential partners in person. It may even be more challenging to assess dating site participants because it is difficult to know whether they have misrepresented themselves in their profiles. Unfortunately, it is sometimes the dishonest folks that will at first appear to be the most appealing on-line personalities, because they are not constrained by the realities of their actual personality, they are able to create a persona that, while not necessarily pathalogically different from their true selves, at very least is highly idealized.

One advantage of on-line dating sites over singles bars and nightclubs is that the participants usually have to invest some money in order to participate. Usually, this means they are more likely to be seeking a relationship rather than a fleeting or casual hookup. It is tempting to interpret this fact as an indication that people met on-line can be trusted more than random strangers, but this is a fallacy. Yes, they may be more serious about establishing a long-term connection, but by in large, they are still a random slice of the general public, some of whom sadly will be liars and cheats. One disadvantage is that since participants have invested money in the on-line dating venture, there is a tendency to want to maximize the return on that investment. In other words, it is very likely that people one meets on a dating site are corresponding and meeting with other dating site participants. If one is interested in entering into an exclusive relationship, one must use caution in developing the expectation that a fellow on-line dating site participant is no longer "interviewing" other relationship candidates. Indeed one should expect that the relationship will not be exclusive initially, one cannot "trust" that the other person is not dating several other people at the same time. This is not to say that on-line dating is a bad idea, on the contrary, many people have found lasting and satisfying relationships with folks whose paths would otherwise never have crossed their own. The key point is that just as in dating in the real-world, one must use judgement and caution when deciding whom to meet, and how long to correspond together before taking that next step.

In general, dating people one doesn't already know is not something to be rushed, whether one first meets them on-line or in person. There are no shortcuts to finding and developing a fulfilling relationship. It takes time for a person's true nature to be revealed, and in the meantime one must attend to one's own safety and well being until the person proves trustworthy. It is important to be very open about expectations, particularly regarding exclusivity (or non-exclusivity), and if an exclusive relationship is sought, it is important to spend enough time to learn whether the other person really can be trusted. If it's the right person, nothing will be lost in proceeding at a relaxed pace. Indeed, spending time to get to know one another gives everyone involved a chance to shed unrealistic expectations and illusions, and judge the budding relationship for what it truly is.

Learn more about this author, Alexia Schulz.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Can you trust the honesty of online dating site participants??
We want to hear your view. Write now!