by L. Merlino

Created on: December 02, 2007

When shopping turns into a shopping disorder

Pyramids of stacked shopping bags propped up against the wall; gads of unopened parcels shoved beneath the bed; shrink-wrapped paraphernalia, knee-deep on the floor ...

Lost sale receipts, misplaced credit cards, crushed bills in your pocket where you hastily stash your change.

Dissonance, discord everywhere - maybe a trip to the mall will straighten you out.

You love to shop and of course, money grows on trees. Watch your garden grow, while your credit dwindles. You'll return a few things tomorrow - but tomorrow never comes - especially when you can't even locate the receipts that would save your skin. You kick another bloomin' Bloomingdales bag under the table, and a flurry of packing tissue spills out. Hmm, wonder what lies beneath the tissue ... was that a Chanel blazer or prized Armani jacket peeking out at you? Who cares?

Perhaps you're a bit lonely, but how can you invite anyone over amidst this mess? Besides, you've got another sale to catch and Macy's closes in an hour. You grab a cup of coffee, and out you go!

Ah, the bustling crowd, the bright lights and Muzak. Who can resist the mall at night? So full of life, vitality and smiling salesgirls - almost makes you feel popular - fills a certain niche in your soul.

When you get home, however, you're too bushwhacked to even peek at your new purchases. My, but the bags do look pretty, all lined up in a row like trophies - the Gap, Marshalls, Victoria's Secret (you're still trying to crack her code), Hot Topic, Filene's. You pop a Godiva chocolate, boot up the computer and head off to eBay. Going, going, gone!

"You've got mail." Trembling with excitement, you browse by subject:

"You won eBay Item ... Congratulations, the item is yours. Please pay now!"

You won, you won, you won - you've been preselected; congratulations - how popular you are!

"Your invoice ... Message from eBay member ... Your eBay item has been shipped ... Positive Feedback" ... Items, items, items! Time to get more.

Suddenly, you don't feel very well. It's already 2:00 AM. You need a bit of shut-eye. Oh, but there's one last email to open - "Hi mom, It's been months since you've called. When will we see you? Junior has the croup, and won't stop crying - keeps asking for Grandma; please call. Miss you, your Loving Daughter - P.S. We need you."

The next morning, you awake with a "shopping hangover". Bleary eyed, you kick aside a few bags and march to the phone. This has got to stop! You fumble through the

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