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According to a familiar axiom, "A friend is someone who knows all about you and likes you anyway." Most people are limited by both time and energy to having only a few close friends. They may have a large number of acquaintances, but only few true friends.

Friendship requires a commitment to the wellbeing of another person. You have to be present for them through their successes and problems, just as they will be for you. They need to feel confident that they can call on you at any hour, and that you will be there to help, especially in a time of crisis. You remember birthdays and anniversaries. You help out in busy times, such as moving, new babies and arranging funerals. Often a close friend is more involved in your day-to-day life than family members.

Ideally, spouses should be each others' best friends. This doesn't always happen. If your mate's job involves travel, if they're heavily involved in volunteer work, or have demanding family responsibilities, such the care of elderly parents, or if they're a workaholic, you will need a few friends to fill in the gaps in your social life.

Nobody's perfect. Even among the most compatible couples, a spouse will not be able to show interest in every area important to a partner. It's a rare man who can knowledgeably discuss fashion trends, and his wife will be unlikely to match his enthusiasm for wrestling. For these areas, you need friends.

Even if happily married to a devoted spouse, you should make an effort to keep several good friends close all during life. Nothing in this world is constant except change. We never know what tomorrow may bring, but one thing we can be sure of: having good friends will ease the dark days that are sure to beset us all.

True friendship takes time to grow. You can't expect to meet someone today, and be true friends by next week. Some of your friends will have known you since childhood. Trust, confidence, and sensitivity toward another person are traits which need time to develop; they can't happen overnight.

Those who have a few good friends in their lives are very fortunate. Statistics show that an active social network is a positive factor in determining longevity. The time and effort required to maintain these close relationships is worthwhile, both for them and for you.

I do not mean to suggest that you should shut yourself off from making new acquaintances. Contacts of longstanding can often become friends. Friends of the present may move away, change or become distant in manner, or pass away. As mentioned before, nothing in this world is constant except change.

Make new friends, but keep the old;
One is silver, the other gold.
Author Unknown.

Learn more about this author, Carolyn Tytler.
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