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Knowing your way around a bar is extremely important if you are a female. As with any place you enter, it is always good to know where the exits are or if there is only one in case of fire. Know where the restrooms are. Usually they are not together but if they are, you take extra care when entering.

The next warning is simple. Why are you there alone? No female enters a bar by herself unless she already knows the bar in the first place. The exception to that is if you are a whore looking for a lot of action, otherwise, don't go alone. If you are alone and it doesn't look right, smell right, or you are uneasy, turn around and head back out the door.

I live out in the hills of Pennsylvania and we don't have big bars around here so we usually know the bartender before we go through the door. If we don't know him/her, we ask a friend. Someone always knows who's tending bar.

Your bartender is an important part of the bar scene especially in small bars because if things get out of hand, they are the ones to protect you. If you think your bartender can't or won't protect you, you should leave unless you are of the afore mentioned. (The bar I attend has a baseball bat that the bartender uses whether male or female until the police arrive.)

If deciding to sit at the bar, take the stool closest to the bartender. If you don't like the looks of the follow patrons, sit real close. If you are one of the above mentioned, it really doesn't matter where you sit.

When the bar's primary drunk comes and asks you to dance and can't stand quite straight up and you can't determine which eye is looking at you, if either, don't say you will dance with him and then bitch because he is all over you. Use some judgment and common sense.

And, if you don't like drunks being loud and obnoxious, you probably had better go big with a mainstream bar or restaurant. Or, you could do what I have done and get just as drunk and obnoxious as they are and then you won't know the difference. If fact, if you get drunk enough, probably none of the above helpful hints will make a difference especially if you are a whore.

Learn more about this author, Linda Steinbiser.
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