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While not all relationships are meant to last, there are some definite things that can help it to, if it is meant to be. None of these are easy things to understand or institute, but no one ever said relationships were easy, usually it is agreed that a lasting relationship is a lot of work. To help a relationship along, one can realize a few basic things. First, it is not about winning the argument, it is about finding a solution to the argument. Second, people do not suddenly change even at the insistence of someone else. Finally, you do not have to lose yourself to be with another. All of these concepts will be explained further.

When one gets into an argument, it is often a win at all costs affair. In long term, lasting relationships this is a destructive thought process to have. One has to realize that it is not the goal to be right, but to solve the problem. This means to approach what causes the argument fairly and with respect towards your significant other and his or her feelings. It is very easy to get into the destructive path of thinking and attack your partner unfairly by name calling, ridiculing, or even demoralizing by blaming them for the problem. It is far more difficult, but more productive to approach them with the line "I feel..." to take the blame off of your partner and open the lines of communication. Remember, it is not winning the battle, but rather, solving the issue that is important.

When there is a difference in opinion one would like it if their partner would just suddenly change their view. This never happens, realize it. If the view is something simple such as a type of food they are afraid to try and therefor it is bad to them, then that is something to easily work with. If their view has to do with their moral stances, that is something that more than likely will not change. It is something that has to be accepted or worked through with therapy, either way is something that will not simply change in a day. These moral stances can be on the spending of money, religious affiliations, views on religious affiliations, views on race or politics. All of these are not likely to change.

When one is with someone, especially in the beginning of the relationship, is is not uncommon for them to want to spend every moment with that person. There in poses a problem. Each person has separate likes and dislikes. If one spends every waking moment with their significant other, there is the potential of losing one's identity and copying the other's. This is evident when people say that "They..." when that person really means "I..." It is okay to do things together, but be sure to spend some time apart so that you can grow as well as the relationship grows.

With these not too simple techniques and tips, a long lasting relationship can be forged. Good luck, and remember, it takes two to be in a relationship, not just one.

Learn more about this author, Sarah Arnette.
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