Rules of Incarceration
A Parent's Guide to Navigating the Judicial System

This article is dedicated to any parent going through the hell of their young adult child being in jail. I wish someone had written about this before now because I would have known what to do and what not to do during this difficult time. My son is currently serving a ten year sentence which he will serve out in six and a half years. If your child or family member has longer than this, I can't even imagine what you are going through. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

I am the kind of parent who taught my kids that stealing is wrong even if it's just a piece of bubble gum. My son took some fingernail clippers which were right by the cash register once, and I made him take them back into the store and told him he better hope the manager doesn't send him to jail. I wanted to put the fear of God in him so he would never do this again, but somehow that message was forgotten and anger and drugs took over.

I have been navigating the judicial system for about two years now. My son is now twenty and was barely eighteen when he was arrested. When all of this first happened, I was immediately overwhelmed and did not know what to do next. So here are some tips from my experiences that might help. I know it seems like a nightmare from which you cannot wake, but it does get better, it does get easier and it will make you stronger. We parents seem to muster an overabundance of strength when it comes to our children no matter how old they are.

My barely eighteen year old son was arrested for two counts of armed robbery. After I found out what had happened, the first thing I did was panic, but then, after the blood came back to my head and my heart was out of my throat and I no longer felt like I was going to pass out or throw up, I took about thirty minutes to digest what had happened and then decided I needed to take action right now. I felt the need to fix it and to nip it in the bud before it got any worse. I wanted to help somehow but I didn't know where to start and I was 900 miles away when I got the call.

Before I go any further, let me say that my son is not a violent person and being arrested is not the norm for our family.

Rule #1 - DON'T PANIC AND DO NOT HIRE AN ATTORNEY UNTIL YOU KNOW THE WHOLE SITUATION.

Here are some questions to consider before hiring an attorney and before visitation:

Should I call the detective that took he/she's statement?

The answer

• 1
• 2
• 3
• next page >>

---

Add your voice

Know something about The influence of alcohol on teen life?
We want to hear your view. Write now!