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I believe if you are a well-rounded person and have a good relationship and love your mother, then she is the best advice-giver you can have. Look at yourself as a model. If she did well by you, then she would do better helping you with your little one than a stranger.

Grandparents are usually great advisers because they become aware over the years what they might have done differently if they knew better at the time. Therefore, they talk from the experience of trial and error.

Being a first-time mother can be overwhelming because you want so badly to have a happy healthy baby. And the first time the baby cries and comforting does not seem to help, some mothers can get panicky. And the fact that there are husbands who might feel that you are pampering and coddling the baby unnecessarily, doesn't make you feel any better. A lot of men believe you should let the baby cry so you don't spoil the child.

When you think about it though, you'll realize that's why men don't have babies. A lot of men don't understand the one cardinal rule, babies cry for a reason. They just don't have the patience to find out what the reason might be.

My daughter asked me one day, "Why do babies cry so much?", which was an understandable question. I asked her, "Why do you think?" and she said, "I guess they want something" and I said, "You're right." And through a process of elimination, you can find out what they want or need and act accordingly. Once the baby receives what will comfort it, the baby is smiling, cooing or sleeping once again.

Finally, I told my daughter to stay calm, use common sense, put the baby's needs ahead of everything else at that time so you don't get frustrated, and if you're at your wit's end and can't figure out what's wrong, call or take the baby to a doctor. And you can call me anytime if you need me. But, you'll be fine. All mothers go through the same nightmare when it's a first child. By the second or third, it'll be "old hat." She said, "Yeah, if I get through the first!"

I said to myself, 'no truer words have been spoken.'

Learn more about this author, Barbara A. Pitter.
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