Babies will often develop their own methods to calm and sooth themselves to sleep. They will often suck a thumb and/or cuddle a teddy. Some of course use a pacifier (dummy). Somehow babies link those actions with security and going to sleep. Unfortunately it is extremely difficult to teach your child to do this.

You can however provide the right situation that will encourage self calming and self settling.

What we have found to work really well is to lay baby down when we think she is ready for sleep, tuck a soft teddy into the crook of her arm and follow up with a soft blanket just under her chin. Now, she automatically sticks her thumb in her mouth, grabs the teddy and blanket, half rolls onto her side and bingo - she nods off.

After four children we have finally got it right. By 8:30 each night all four are in bed and asleep and most nights we don't hear anything from them until early morning.

So what did we do that was different this time. I must confess, nothing was planned. It all happened by accident and like all cases of hindsight, we thought of course, why didn't we do that earlier? Here is a summary of what we have found to work.

Start off by getting them to go to sleep in your arms with the teddy and/or blanket. Get them to associate sleep with that softness. You will know when they have developed that association because as soon as you cradle them into your arms with the soft object, they will immediately snuggle into it and start to close their eyes and get that relaxed sleepy state. Once you have that routine, it is time to go to the next stage.

Now that baby has associated the softness with sleep you need to get into the habit of laying them down before they go to sleep. Cradle them with the blanket or teddy and as soon as they get that I am ready for sleep look - lay them down, before they go to sleep. In the beginning you may have to pick them up again, but they will quickly learn to associate the soft teddy or blanket and bed with sleep.

You don't have to use the same soft teddy every time she goes to sleep either - nor the same blanket. What is important is that the toy and blanket are soft, very soft. They then build an association with softness and sleep.

If you have a new born - try it out early - persevere, don't give up to soon. Of course, the real trick is to pick that 'right' time to lay them down, too early and they don't want to go to sleep, to late and they are over tired.

They may not go to sleep at first. You may have to pick them up again. But by persevering you will find that you will win and that sleep will come quickly and naturally for them - and for you.

Learn more about this author, Les Scammell.
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