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that. She deserved some JuJu Bees as well.

Needless to say, the rest of the evening was spent watching a really bad movie. That was it; watching a really, really bad movie. By the time I had dropped her off, the tension in the air was no longer able to be ignored by my stunning charm, and bliss of ignorance. I was beginning to realize that I was probably going to have to look for another girlfriend. At the time it seemed like the worst thing that could have happened. I was terribly wrong.

Many parents, and young adults will try to convince me that Junior High is the most vicious of all the grades. To which I say, walk a mile in my shoes. My date, that less than illustrious evening, appeared on campus the very next day, with two knots on her head, and an eye patch. To this day, it is my personal belief the eye patch was optional, and merely a means of justifying her actions. But never the less, it became the icon of the bad date, by which all others are compared.

Because my date also happened to be the editor for our school paper, the whole experience was immortalized in print, complete with the kind of illustrations you see in the Sunday paper politics section. Though names were left out to protect the innocent, it was a small school. But it doesn't stop there. Being editor for the paper, made her editor for the year book. Now my humiliation was hard bound, and in full color.

The whole episode did eventually fade from the forefront of student body awareness. It was hard to top the level of ridicule, and hilarity spawned during Sadie Hawkins week, when every girl in school asked me to the dance. Each one wearing an eye patch, and asking if they should bring a first aid kit. Now, nearly 20 years later, I can honestly say that I don't have those dates of hair gel blindness, and slippery hands. I'm bald.

Learn more about this author, Stephen Surgener.
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