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Rules and Guidelines of Marriage
(from a teenagers perspective)

1.You will never EVER get an equal side of the bed again. Keep dreaming... or not..
2.The battle of "Who Wears The Pants" will be fought long into your sixties, and by then both of you will wear diapers and it wont matter anymore.
3.Your spouse has the right and ability to say "Go ask your mom/dad" to your kids; and they will abuse it.

4.Don't expect that gold watch for Christmas, dad, from now on its socks and underwear.
5.And mom, don't expect anything of value, because you are the one who supplies the kids money to buy you stuff.
6.And on the subject of money, THERE WILL BE NONE.
7.You'll end up soccer moms and work-a-holic dads.
8.Your spouse probably has some gross sleeping habit, like snoring or drooling, so prepare for that.
9.Of course, your spouse might be violent in bed too. Not like that, silly. Tossing, turning, kicking, punching, shootin- I mean....um...
10.And at the beginning; don't expect to have a perfect wedding.. It wont happen. You'll have a HUGE zit, or a broken leg, or your dog has to go to the vet... something equally horrible.
11.Yeah, he MIGHT lose his wedding ring... Don't kill him. You need him to pay for a new matching band for YOU!
12.All of a sudden, you wish you still lived with your cleaner, neater parents.
13.NO spontaneous activities allowed.
14.Whats hers is hers, and whats his is... hers.
15.Don't combine bank accounts. Or you'll be asking questions every payday.
16.Do your self a favor now, right after marriage... Child-proof and pet-proof your house.
17.Your friends will automatically assume that because you are married, you are free to babysit.
18.Don't do "Do-It-Yourself" projects with your spouse... just 'do it yourself'.
19.You are now 'un-cool' to all younger generations.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST

20.DON'T SCREW IT UP... its permanent.

Learn more about this author, Maggie Runkle.
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