by Mj Ferruzza

Created on: November 26, 2007

News of the Day
(Or how I see it...)

1. Ingrid Marie Rivera won the Puerto Rico's 2008 Miss Universe contest,
despite applying makeup and wearing evening gowns that had been coated
with pepper spray. Would you say that she had a case of assault with pepper?

2. Trent Lott planned on stepping down from office before the end of the year.
This will make him eligible for one of the plethora of pardons GW Bush will sign

before he leaves office.

3. GW Bush's list of friends who need who will need pardons when he leaves
office only rivals that of Santa's list. But instead of coal, those on GW's
naughty list will be released from prison or their liabilities. They can keep
all the money they have stole from their companies, constituents, share holders
or employees. And they are free from any culpability of ratting out a political
opponent or business partner for their own financial or political gain. 'Tis
the season!

4. There is a bald, un-telegenic man, sweaty fat man who has some great ideas for
this country and how to direct America into the future. He has plans to create
world peace through communications and understanding. He will also describe the
steps to fiscal responsibility. And next election... he will not be elected.

5. Keeping the number one or two ranking in college football this year has been
like Britney Spears trying to keep her children. Both sound pretty good in theory.

6. Hulk Hogan's wife filed for divorce. She definitely wanted out of the "ring"
with him.

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