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My mother, 78, is nearing the end of her life and I'm in my early fifties. My mother has not been very nice to me over the years. As a child I was busy looking after my younger siblings because mother was too busy doing other things (including, at times, cheating on my father). We didn't get along . . . she was always degrading me verbally and actually told me that I'd never amount to anything in life.

There isn't a genuine mother-daughter bond between us and things have not changed over the years in regards to the way she treats me. Still, she is my mother, and I do care about her plight in life. She resides on a fixed income and I talk to her on the phone regularly to make sure she isn't wanting for anything. I send her money and drive long distances to clean her apartment. Mother doesn't appreciate my good deeds unless I send her money.

One day as I was cleaning her apartment, I asked mother why she couldn't do some basic cleaning. After all, she is not an invalid. This was her response to me: "I can't be bothered!"

When my mother runs short of money, she calls me. If I don't send her money regularly, she tells me that I'm no good.

Why is it a mother can be so mean-spirited?

Learn more about this author, Deborah Goulekas.
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