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Who would win in a fight: Jack Bauer or Chuck Norris?

Results so far:

Norris
60% 137 votes Total: 228 votes
Bauer
40% 91 votes

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

Who has a prayer when they're up against a man of that caliber? No one does.

Chuck Norris could roundhouse kick Jack Bauer in the face before Bauer even knew he'd been Norrised. He would immediately be out for the count, and the only reason he'd know what happened is that when Chuck kicked him, he knocked him back in time - so Bauer would be able to re-live the attack over, and over, and over.

Even if Chuck Norris fought himself, he would still win. The man is amazing - he drinks napalm for heartburn, he sleeps with a pillow under his gun, and uses Tabasco sauce for eye drops. Thus, it is useless to wonder if Jack Bauer could hold his own in a fight with Chuck Norris. Sure, Bauer can hold his own - his own arm after Chuck Norris rips it off and beats him with it!

I've recently come home from Iraq - these Chuck Norris sayings are scrawled inside EVERY porta-potty from Arifjan, Kuwait to Kirkuk, Iraq. I guess even Soldiers realize that Chuck Norris IS a weapon of mass destruction - which is why he's not allowed over there (we're trying to give the terrorists a fair fight, I suppose).

Again, Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter - case closed.

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Below are the top articles rated and ranked by Helium members on:

Who would win in a fight: Jack Bauer or Chuck Norris?

Norris
  • 1 of 12

    by Ted Sherman

    Chuck Norris, of course, when he was in his prime could have quickly destroyed Kiefer Sutherland (Jack Bauer is a fictional

    read more

  • 2 of 12

    by Mark Bukovich

    As a fan of both "24" and Chuck Norris in general, I couldn't help myself from dropping in on this silly debate. I was not

    read more

Bauer
  • 1 of 5

    by John Devera

    I have the utmost respect for Chuck Norris. His skill as a martial artist is undeniably real. And he's even a likable person

    read more

  • 2 of 5

    by Jason Austin

    Is it not interesting how so often the most obvious information is overlooked. Chuck Norris is in my opinion by far a greater

    read more

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