Most of my spiritual journal is a dialog with my inner Voice. A Jungian depth psychologist might argue that the Voice is nothing more than my shadow side. I choose to believe that Voice is God, or at least one of God's messengers.

I believe I was called to be an evangelist. Not the stereotypical Bible thumper who goes around trying to convert people (although I sometimes yield to that temptation, particularly when I am dealing with my more theologically rigid brothers and sisters). I am a messenger. A human angel ("angelos" is the Greek word for "messenger") who makes deliveries to people who need a little help hearing what God is saying to them.

I am both the messenger and the message. My "life scripture" is Luke 4:18-19. In many cases, my love is more needed than my wisdom. I carry life to the dying, the wounded, the sleepy, the discouraged, the bored, the indifferent, the confused - people just like me. In one way or the other, they generally give me back more than I gave away. That's how God works.

I dream of writing a book about Christian healing, but it seems the more I learn about it, the more I realize what I don't know. I worry that today's insight will become tomorrow's heresy.

When Jesus taught, he often re-directed things squarely at his listeners. What do YOU think? How important is the Kingdom of God to YOU? What will YOU do to live out what you believe?

At the end of the day, that's all that matters.

CONVERSATION WITH AN EVANGELIST

EVANGELIST: Have you been saved?

ME: Depends on what you mean by "saved".

E: Saved from the judgment of God.

M: Didn't Jesus say he did not come to judge?

E: God the Father is the final judge. The sacrifice of Jesus is our only shield from His judgment.

M: Not love?

E: God is love.

M: Then why is God obsessed with judgment?

E: His righteousness must be satisfied.

M: By torturing his children for ever? Not even I am cruel enough to do that.

E: It's cruelty when you do it. God is different. God loves us so much He sent Jesus to rescue us from sin and death.

M: But only those who sincerely accept Jesus as Saviour and Lord? How come - doesn't God love the others?

E: He does, but He will not override their free will.

M: Even to save them from eternal torture? I would pull a child out of a burning house even if he didn't want to come with me.

E: We must choose.

M: Even if we don't know what the choice is?

E: It is our responsibility as Christians to proclaim the Good News of Jesus Christ so that everyone has a choice!

M: So - if we miss someone, it's our fault? Then maybe we are the ones who should be going to hell.

E: That's what we deserve - but God's mercy is infinite.

M: But only for the ones He has predestined?

E: We must not question His justice.

M: How do you know that you are one of the chosen ones?

E: I accepted Jesus in 1987.

M: Jesus accepted me long before that.

E: Of course. But you still have to make a choice.

M: Saying your version of the Sinner's Prayer constitutes a choice?

E: If you truly believe.

M: So, how am I supposed to know if I truly believe? Or, for that matter, if YOU truly believe?

E: By grace.

M: Ah! But if grace is a free gift, then why do I have to jump through hoops to get it?

E: You don't get grace by coming to the altar - you come to the altar to accept it. God will not force it on you.

M: Does a mother abandon her infant in the crib to fend for himself rather than force her love on him?

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