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First you must be involved in your family life. Take time out of your busy schedule between work, errands, chores, events, social gatherings, and numerous other activities that prevent your quality time to show your teen how much you want to be involved with them and your family. At times I felt like we didn't have a family life but just existed in the same home until I decided to change how we existed to make life interesting and fun.

You can pick anything you want to bring your family closer and keep them there but sooner is better since the older teens get the more individualized they become. Just make it fun or funny and realize that they are now teens not young children. This means make the games or activities age appropriate.

Have a family xbox/ps3/wii tournament winner doesn't do dishes for a week or wins a trip to the mall with some cash. Compete with them on chores and again winner gets something that is going to spark the interest of a teen. Maybe they get to use your car for their date next week if they can rake the front yard faster than you can rake the back yard.

Occasionally I hold contests in our house in essay or trivia format about our family. What you like or what you dislike about your family? My favorite one was the time I asked for a 500 word essay on "the top 3 things you would change in our house". We got some strange answers but we took a couple of them to heart and made those changes because we didn't know we even did the things they hated and didn't ask anything in return.

It made an impression on the teens that I still hear them brag about sometimes when talking to friends or family. That is a nice rewarding feeling I can assure you.

Keep an open door discussion policy where no topic is stupid or bad and there will be no punishment for the discussion even if there may be consequences. This will require you to explain the difference between being responsible for their actions and getting punished for telling you about it. Make this clear from a very early age and all throughout their lives. Family meetings and voting sessions allow teens to express their feelings and are a great way to get insight into what they are truly feeling.

Create a safe environment for your teen or some sort of comfort zone where they feel more at ease with their family life. This can be done by setting up a time and place for activities such as family game night/day, family outings, movie time/watching sports, or art projects.

Learn more about this author, Starr Sheets.
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