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Small weddings are wonderful- cheaper, simpler, easier to plan, even easier to clean up after. Their downside is that they can leave a lot of people feeling like you don't consider them an important part of your life. However, with a little planning this can be taken care of, either before or after the wedding.

First off, the explanation. Ideally sent out with the actual invitations, but sent out after the wedding if necessary, this is the "we're getting married and we would love to invite everyone, but we can't because of ___, so we're having ___ and we would love for you to attend". Also- and this is vital- include a way to get to pictures and information. Theknot.com provides nice free websites that are easy to find but hard to put a lot of information on- I would recommend either linking from that site sending everyone directly to something a little more all-encompassing, like a facebook or myspace account you create for the two of you. You can put up as many pictures as you want to, even a video of the ceremony itself, include an events list and directions, and even blog funny stories about the whole experience. Also, front and center, put something similar to the letter you just sent out "We love all of you and wish we could have invited everyone to the ceremony, but for __ reason we could not. However, we're doing __ and hope to see everyone in that way!"

Good excuses would be time or financial constraints, having a ceremony in/at an unusual location, time, or religion. But you're having something like a big party or cookout, a group field trip of some kind, or a series of smaller, intimate dinners, and everyone can be included now- wonderful for un-ruffling feathers.

The most economical way of dealing with this, of course, is having an informal potluck supper somewhere- a backyard, park, or church, most likely, ideally with music, even if it's just somebody's boom-box. Or somebody backing their truck up to the space and playing their stereo system all night, if your family is anything like mine. The next step up would be you providing the main food, then alcohol- you can think of this as an extra reception, one you don't have to worry about quite as much.

If you have family spread all over creation, you would ideally have a series of these parties, probably at a relatives house, so that everyone has an opportunity to celebrate with you without traveling a ridiculous amount. This takes a lot more planning, but is a very guest-friendly, relatively relaxed solution.

Then there's the series-of-dinners idea. This works best if you decided on a family-only affair and all of your friends feel left out- they live relatively close by, and you know them well enough that a small, comfortable dinner wouldn't be awkward- actually, it would be a great way to catch up with everyone after the wedding/honeymoon and get used to the idea of you being an extra-official couple.

So, whatever happened, you can sort it out- a little bit of planning and some more time spent with loved ones, and it should all sort out.

Learn more about this author, Kellie Hall.
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