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As the children advance into their teens they have to often face puberty as the first phase of adolescence. This is the time when their sexual maturity becomes evident. A burst of hormones in their body produces a range of physical and emotional changes (for e.g. assertiveness and self consciousness). Though the children might have become physically mature it does not imply that they are emotionally mature too. Most teenagers are anxious, needy, and confused by their desires and fears. You might misinterpret their self-conscious-ness as their self-centeredness. You need to know what is behind your child's moods and apparent self-centeredness. Best way to deal with them is:

· Don't treat them as children; instead treat them as your friends. This way they will be able to share their feelings with you and you can help them out.
· Give them their own space and independence but don't give them total freedom: Keep a continuous eye on their behavior. If suddenly the child appears distressed or disturbed and starts staying aloof at time of family dinner and family meetings, you need to find the reason. Talk confidentially with his teachers to get to the root of the problem. (Is the problem due to the fact that he has started recently taking drugs or is this just his exaggerated insecurities and self consciousness).
· There are no simple solutions to teenager problems. However, he is more likely to follow your example than do what you say. So if you want to change his habits, start doing things yourself the way you want him to do. He is sure to copy you. Teenagers get irritated if you constantly keep nagging them or correcting them.
· Adolescence is the time when he is likely to get attracted by the opposite sex. Give him independence to take his own decisions but first educate him about sex. Teach him about HIV and AIDS and teach him how to protect himself against this disease.
· Give him freedom to manage his own finances and teach him the value of money. If he starts doing a part-time job and starts to take care of his expenses himself, not only will he become independent and responsible, he will also learn the value of money. He will learn how to control his expenditures and how to save for future.
· Encourage him to keep away immoral and unethical activities like drugs etc.
· Encourage him to develop a sense of responsibility by encouraging him to participate in household chores liking laying the dining table, taking care of small siblings.

Learn more about this author, Dorothy Wilde.
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