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The idea of "independence" is not introduced only as someone is entering his teen years. Establishment of a certain degree of independence is introduced as early as possible...and gradually upgraded from there. We let toddlers hold their own bottle or cup, feed themselves, walk by themselves. Later on, we let them tie their own shoelaces, dress themselves, brush their teeth. Then we give them a bit of money to spend on their own, go to school or ride the bus by themselves, give them chores to do, try to make their own snacks, let them do their own homework. After that, we can leave them alone at home for a while, use the stove, run household equipment...while still keeping the other "independent" things they've known to do. If you've established these, then it's easier for you to upgrade and promote their independence as they become teenagers by allowing them to look for summer jobs, handling their own bank account, driving a car, going where they want to go. "Healthy independence" among teenagers can only be achieved to its fullest if you've established a sense of independence in them from the time they were toddlers. It's all a matter of upgrading...of course, the way to do this establishment of independence is through good communication and by example and trusting their judgment.

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