The teenage years are mid-grounds where they are demanding autonomy and independence but without the responsibilities that come with such freedom. They are also trying to establish their identity, but without having to answer for its consequences.
As adults it is our job to establish these associations. The freedom of independent living carries with it responsibility and standing up as your own person often has consequences.
So how do you achieve this? I think that a useful general approach is one of gradual relinquishing of authority throughout the teenage years gauged by their development. No doubt as a younger teen they would have been given household chores and other assignments to do. Monitor their progress in terms of their assumption of responsibility. Do not be overly rigid either. Give them increasing leeway to perform duties as best they see fit. They will learn and in doing so will develop their own style - their personality.
This increasing freedom can also take other forms. Encourage them to explore their world in productive ways. For example, support them as they join clubs and societies at school or church or get involved in sporting activities of their own choice. The point is that you want them to develop in wholesome ways based on their unique style.
Finally, depending on their level of maturity, test them with added responsibilities, first with your supervision and then lessen this as time goes by and they demonstrate their capabilities. A good example is to allow them to supervise younger siblings or to take on a job. Always be there especially in the beginning to bolster their confidence, but never present yourself as a shoulder to lean on - it's always just a show of support.

Yours for Family

Learn more about this author, Roy Jacobs.
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