by Aj Oshobe

Created on: November 24, 2007   Last Updated: February 28, 2010

Without compatibility in a relationship, there will be misunderstanding in that relationship that will virtually destroy it. You must evaluate our romantic engagement based on the essential characteristics of your partner and yourself. Comparison has to be made based on the essential factors of our lives in order to find compatibility. These essential factors include the physical, economical, mental, religious beliefs, moral and spiritually aspects of life. Other things in relationships like trust, understanding and physical intimacy are controlled by these key factors. Building understanding in the relationship simply means getting to know what your partners capabilities and preferences in these essential factors. Trust is based on having a good idea of what to expect from your partner in all of these essential factors.

The physical attributes of a person are the outward observable characteristic of the individual. The economical aspect is based on the individual ability to support themselves and, if the need arises, you. Mental stability is essential. The mental aspect of a relationship encompasses a lot. A person mental state is the backbone of their emotional ability. The mental state of an individual determines how they respond emotionally. It would be wise to observe if your love interest is capable of understanding and responding to emotions, especially when these emotions are yours. Besides, no one wants to date a sociopath. How an individual conducts himself or herself based on their knowledge of what is good and bad behavior makes up their moral characteristics. Most religious beliefs dictate what activities are allowed in romantic relationship.

It should be noted that being spiritual does not mean being religious. Most African and other early civilizations believe that a person's spirit is the essence of that individual. That is to say the spirit is the x-factor that makes someone unique even from someone who is virtually identical with him or her. For some people this simply means that their romantic interest should appreciate that there is "more to life" than just self-fulfillment.

These factors are not isolated from each other. For instance, sex is a physical act that often used to display emotion. In some cases, the stage of the relationship when sex is introduced can be a moral and religious issue. A topic like living together involves close physical proximity, which in turn involve personal taste in living conditions and economic issues like shared expenses.

Of course, your personal preference has to come into play. You have to be honest about what attributes you want your partner to possess. In order to weigh your personal preference would have to take an objective evaluation of want you want from your partner. For instance, would you prefer your partner to be taller than you and not the same height? Sometimes changes may be needed in order address an incompatibility. In some cases, your partner may be capable of changing to match your preferences; other times change may not be possible.

All theses factor vary from person to person and relationship to relationship. These factors are sometime difficult to understand and have to observed carefully for a period.

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