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Humor: Daily news (11-23-07)

by Tom Koecke

Created on: November 23, 2007

Welcome to Helium Daily News for November 23, 2007.

A cruise ship carrying more than 150 people is sinking near Antarctica. All passengers were able to board life rafts, and are expected to board an American ship that happened to be in the area. The American ship is en route with relief supplies for Hurricane Katrina victims.

Senator Hillary Clinton took issue with Senator Barack Obama's claim that he is better qualified on foreign affairs because he lived overseas for four years as a child. Said Clinton, "Frankly, four years overseas is nothing. I have been a broad for sixty years."

Several of the Presidential hopefuls spent Thanksgiving volunteering in food banks and shelter kitchens. Mitt Romney told our reporter, "It is eye opening how lesser people live." He added, "Thank God I'm rich."

The USS Kitty Hawk, and four support ships, were denied by the Chinese government scheduled access to dock in Hong Kong. There is some speculation that the denial stems from disagreements over Iran's nuclear power program, and the awarding of a Congressional medal to the Dalai Lama. The top US Commander in the Pacific told the President he "was perplexed by the denial." George Bush said he is not only perplexed, he is also confused.

The President spent Thanksgiving at Camp David where he made a dozen calls to soldiers stationed in Iraq and Afghanistan. The President said he limited the number of calls to twelve so the photographers and camera operators could spend the holiday with their families.

In sports, the Packers defeated the Lions 37-26, and the Cowboys beat the Jets 34-3, to set up the showdown next week between the two conference rivals. Both teams go in to the game sporting 10-1 records. The winner will likely secure home field advantage throughout the playoffs, which may be important in determining which one earns the right to get spanked by the Patriots in the Super Bowl.

Finally, the Mayor of Poteet, Texas, Lino Donato, pled guilty on October 31st to three counts of indecency with two young girls, and had to register as a sex offender. He is now barred from Poteet city hall because of its close proximity to a youth center. Mayor Donato refuses to resign claiming he did not really do it; he just did not want the girls to have to testify against him.

Learn more about this author, Tom Koecke.
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