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It's Black Friday, when America's families are hauled into malls to be mauled.
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After three and a half years, Aruba's quick thinking and super-speedy police farce finally arrested the three guys who "allegedly" murdered Natalee Holloway. Surprise, surprise. The suspects were the same trio they had questioned and released right after the high school grad disappeared. What's next? FEMA will send experts to the island to speed up the process?

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Ninety-five protesters dressed as circus clowns disrupted a CIA recruiting session at the University of California in Santa Barbara. Police tried to catch them, but the clowns all escaped after climbing into their teeny Volkswagen.
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After more than 30 years in uniform, Pakistan's President Pervez Musharraf is expected to be discharged from the army. Boy, that Pakistani GI Bill of Rights must have some great benefits!
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What's all the fuss about waterboarding? Isn't that what teenie boppers Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello did as they smooched and sang in "Beach Blanket Bingo"?
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Big scandal brewing about employers in Arizona, California and Nevada hiring smuggler gangs to bring illegals in from Mexico to work for slave wages in US factories, hotels and stores. When the president of a Los Angeles supermarket chain was asked to comment, he said, "Que? No comprendo".

Learn more about this author, Ted Sherman.
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