by Lee Shay

Created on: November 22, 2007

When your child becomes a teenager, it is natural for her/him to want to spend less time with the family & more time with friends. This development can make some parents feel like they are losing control. The key to keeping time with family a priority is to be flexible.

Make a date with your kid. Ask your child what his/her schedule looks like this week & help

decide a time when you can go see a movie or a museum. Maybe you can ask for help going through photos or cleaning the garage. Make sure to respect the other demands on your child's time- even demands you think are silly. Just say you need a couple hours every week.

Pay attention to what time of day your teen is most likely to be just hanging out at home with no clear agenda. Coordinate the rest of your family to be present during this time-slot as often as possible. These are good occasions for impromptu board game marathons or asking everyone to help you plan the following week's menu.

Stay involved in your teen's life. When she/he was younger, you went to the swim meets & school recitals. Make sure you are just as attendant at High School games, dances, drama productions, & art exhibits. Just being there is a huge part of "being there" for your kid.

Make an effort to attain common interests by paying attention to your child's passions. Find something they enjoy that you like, too, & express your interest. Maybe you really like that new band he has been listening to. Discuss the possibility of the whole family getting tickets when the tour comes to your area. Maybe you are into the new accessory trend your daughter is sporting. Ask her if she has read any good magazine articles about this season's accessories. Ask her if she would help her plain old mom go shopping to update her look.

Acknowledge your kid's talents. If she loves to cook, ask her to cook one meal a week. If he is always working on his hot rod, ask him to do some basic maintenance on the family vehicles.

No matter how challenging family time becomes, it is important not to stop making the effort. Your child will appreciate the time you spent together.

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