by Mister C

Created on: November 21, 2007

Tolerating a lying, cheating, scumbag Spouse

You both went willingly to the altar, where, before God and those witnesses present, all dressed in their finery, you made certain promises to one another in good faith. Then came the honeymoon, a period of getting used to the idea of what you had done.

The realization came in like a fog on a chilly day, and wrapped itself around you both like a heavy blanket. We are now as one person, our lives inextricably linked. Whatever happens in the future affects us both, for better or worse. We have to have agreement on the direction our lives will take; and we have to work out a program of give and take.

The welfare of each other is the business of you both, and for all intents and purposes it will be the two of you against the world, if it comes to that. You have joined yourselves at the hip, and the glue that binds is called "Trust." Oh Yes! There's also that other little thing called loyalty, and holding yourselves exclusively for the other, being concerned about each other's personal needs and wants. This is for life! No matter how temptingly handsome or beautiful other people may appear, you are both spoken for.

When we take a step back and observe the practicality of marriage in our modern age of stress and distractions, it is probably the most impractical of all propositions.

As single people we really do not have to adhere to any agenda at all. Nothing much is expected of us, except perhaps to get married. And if it turns out that we are gay or lesbian, then relatives shrug their shoulders and stop bothering us. But the minute a couple get married relatives on both sides start asking when's the baby due? Will you only be renting, or are you looking to buy your own home? You are constantly under the microscope and compared with other couples.

Either through stress, boredom, a lack of responsibility, or just plain greed, one of you gives in to temptation and you take advantage of that quiet offer that comes from perhaps someone who is actively trying to break up your happy home. You become a cheat. Maybe only for one night, or, in some cases you take up an on-going affair behind your spouse's back. The tragedy is you think your spouse has no idea. Don't believe it! There are so many clues that you cannot help but give. Very simply, if you are not where you are supposed to be when you are expected, where are you, or where were you?

Your spouse who believed in you, and who trusted you has to silently deal with what they will regard as your disrespect and sheer contempt for their feelings. They will experience a pain so deep from what they see as your evil acts and betrayal. Added to that is the outrage of having some stranger violate your marriage and your home, and it's really no surprise that this can lead to some really tragic consequences.

The world looked on in awe while the late Princess Di gave her interview in which she looked so drawn. That's when she said that her marriage consisted of three people, apparently from the start. Charles later admitted he was at fault, so we can only imagine the disappointment of the young princess who entered that marriage in fairy-tale circumstances only to have her great expectations so horribly dashed.

I think it is fair to assume that if there were no Camilla there would likely not have been a Jodi and a car ride into a pillar of the underpass in Paris.

Unexpected consequences! It means nothing later on to say, "I didn't mean for that to happen!"

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