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When I lay down to sleep at night
An evil thought goes through my head
I think about the fight we had
When you told me you wished I were dead
I tried to make you happy dad
I tried to make you proud
But for some reason unknown to me
I couldn't do it, I was not allowed
For when I tried to get close to you
When I tried to get along
You seemed to get so mad at me

Your anger was terrifyingly strong
Now I am afraid to get close to any man
I'm afraid of what they might do
Afraid to accept them for who they are
I'm afraid they might be like you
For once I just want a man
To come up to me and to say
"It's alright I am here" and hold me close
And chase all my fears away
I want him to tell me he loves me
The way God loves every grain
For him to take me and hold me tight
Saying "I'll love you past your pain"
That man has not yet found me
The one titled "Mr. Right"
And so for your love and against your anger
I am in a constant fight
Please tell me why you hate me dad
Pleas tell me what I have done
I have tried for years to come up with a reason
But still I have not one
From this point on I will not let you
control my life any longer
The one good thing that has come from your actions
Is the fact they have made me stronger
For as hard as it is for me to do this
I will put up one more fight
And with these last words I will tell you
I forgive you with all of my might.
For by forgiving you I take away
The control you have over me
And without the pain of your harsh actions
The beauty in me will be seen
Maybe someday he will come
The man I so desperately need
But at least for now I can live my life
And for the first time I will be free

Learn more about this author, Gabby Chapman.
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