41 of 50

Write now Article Tools

Why do relationships fail? Why do the stars come out at night? Why does the rain fall? From my cynical perspective it would seem that the majority of relationships are doomed to fail.
Why did the relationships of our parents, grandparents and great-grandparents survive, while the relationships of today crumble? How have we as people in a society changed to the extent we cannot sustain a relationship? Shouldn't we be evolving emotionally as a human race?

One key factor that comes to mind is lack of communication. Is this in part due to the technological age? First television, then video, DVD and now the Internet revolution. Is this in some way partly responsible for the dwindling communicative state of our relationships?
Are we so engrossed in surfing the net, emailing our contacts, checking dating sites (yes, people in relationships do this too) that we fail to have any deep and loving conversations with the person we share our life with?
Another factor which may contribute to the failure of relationships is career. Are we now so obsessed with climbing the corporate ladder we neglect the home and family that in our grandparent's day was the single most important consideration in life?
Lack of commitment and understanding of commitment is another contributing factor which leads to the break down of relationships. Relationships and especially marriage meant something once, it meant a lifetime, and it meant sticking together through the bad times and not giving up. Now, it is too easy to walk out, to even pre-empt the breakdown of the relationship before it begins with a pre-nuptial agreement and legal documents to assist in splitting the assets.
Lack of commitment and the understanding of commitment also means when you are over the initial exciting in-love stage with your spouse, simply look elsewhere. How many of us know someone who left their spouse for a newer model, with complete disregard for old fashioned values and respect?
For a relationship to be successful it needs love, trust, respect, faith, honesty, commitment and loyalty. Sharing each other's thoughts, feelings, dreams, heartaches, sharing a common goal in life, not keeping secrets from each other and working together to build a life and home are essential for a successful relationship. While physical intimacy is important, emotional intimacy is something that only two people in a committed relationship can share with each other.
Relationships fail for a number of reasons. We have lost the ability to communicate with our partners due to our ever increasingly busy lives, we sit in front of the television screen and computer monitor in a singularly exclusive one on one friendship with electronic technology while our ability to communicate in a loving and intimate way with our loved ones becomes a distant memory. We have lost the ability to trust and share with our partners and instead finances and the division of assets has become more important than sharing our dreams and goals. Looking to the future has become an exercise fraught with what-if's. What if there is a recession, what if there is a war, what if another hurricane strikes. But in a committed relationship these future hardships are hardships to be faced together not to tear us apart. In our grandparent's day they did face recession, they did face war, and they did face natural disasters. But they faced it together and their relationships survived.

Learn more about this author, Susan Scarr.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Why do relationships fail?
We want to hear your view. Write now!