The idea of an open relationship is one where there is always the mutually agreed upon option for one or both partners to engage in intimate encounters with other people - without ending the actual relationship itself. But why would anyone ever agree to such a thing? How could any relationship withstand such a level of infidelity?

I believe the answer to be a simple one: fidelity is a societal construct, not a biological imperative. That is to say, fidelity is not a logical requirement for love unless you believe that sex is love - and if you believe that then you have a lot more to worry about than whether or not open relationships are worth it.

Sex is one of two things, it is either meaningless or meaningful. It is never in between. There is no such thing as partially meaningful sex, or almost meaningless sex. It either is or it isn't.

If a couple has a commitment to each other in terms of an ongoing companionship and an abiding love and affection for each other - nothing says they are not also able to be physically attracted to another person. Acting on those impulses certainly doesn't indicate a lack of emotion for the partner, all it indicates is a desire to fulfill a physical impulse.

True fidelity, however, can never be garnered by setting or agreeing to an expectation. True fidelity can only come from one individual's personal and innermost feeling being that they have no desire to physically be with anyone other than his/her partner. This feeling cannot be manufactured, it cannot be transferred, and it cannot be conjured. It's either there or it isn't, and very few of us ever truly feel this emotion. Most of us only ever feel the expectation of the societal demand for fidelity instead.

If you are not in a relationship where the idea of being with someone else just doesn't do anything for you - then there is no reason not to allow an open relationship so long as it's mutually agreed to and you are all practicing safer sex. If someone is going to leave you, it should be because they really don't want to be with you anymore rather than because they wanted to have a short-term fling with someone who means nothing to them and the same is true for you. How sad would it be to lose someone forever simply because you couldn't love them through their biological desire to shag someone for a month?

The physical interaction is never the problem with relationships - it's always the emotional. When the emotional line is crossed, then I say it's time to end that relationship - but if it's only physical there isn't any reason in the world to limit either of you if you're both able to handle it. In some cases just having the option is enough to take the thrill out of it anyway.

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