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The first thing you need to do is find a good full-length mirror. Stand in front of it and take a good long look at yourself.

What do you see? I'm not talking about the makeup or the hairstyle, or even the features. I mean the total package.

Do you find the image you're looking at attractive? Enticing? Approachable? Why or why not?

It's okay if you're not entirely pleased with your image (as reflected to you and as perceived by others) for now. But it is important that you determine what it is about what you see that you don't like so you'll know what you will need to work on.

Consider this: maybe it's not the raw material you find unattractive, but the presentation. Have you ever noticed how some neighbors' lawns are always neat and well-manicured while some others are always overgrown and strewn with trash? The way those lawns look tell you a lot about the way the homeowners feel about their surroundings. The lawns that always look nice look that way because they are being cared for by their owners, while the lawns that are always shabby are obviously not being taken care of.

The same logic applies to your personal appearance. If you care about yourself, you take care of yourself ... and it shows. Conversely, if you don't take care of yourself, you probably don't make a point of making sure you always look your best. What that tells others is you don't think very highly of yourself.

Sure, all of us are guilty of slumming sometimes. But if looking trashed is your normal MO, you will be perceived by others as someone who doesn't care about herself. Others will reason that if you don't even care about yourself why should anyone else bother to care about you.

You may not even be conscious that your appearance is sending negative messages. As far as you are concerned, you may be just being comfortable. But perception is reality.

It doesn't matter that that's not the message you intend to send. What matters is people will believe that it is. So make sure your appearance says what you want it to say about you.

Okay, now back to the mirror. Get a pen and a piece of paper and write down what you do and do not like about what you see. Make sure you either sit or stand in front of the mirror for at least another 15 minutes before you begin writing. Really take the time to study yourself as others do and try to see yourself the way others see you.

When you're done listing your likes and dislikes, put the paper away for just a minute and return to the mirror.

Now take your clothes

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