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Answer this question honestly: Why do I want a man in my life?

If you want a man to complement your life, you are on the right track. A healthy, fulfilling relationship with a warm, loving man is a pleasure every woman should have the opportunity to experience.

If, however, you are looking for a man to complete your life, I need to clarify something for you. Having a man in your life will not complete you. You need to be a complete, mentally stable, emotionally healthy person before you even think about adding another person to the mix. Simply put, you will never find true happiness with another person until you've found it within yourself!

Maybe you're not quite sure whether you believe having a wonderful man in your life will complement your life or complete your life. The following exercise can help you determine whether your underlying expectations are healthy and realistic.

Take out a sheet of 8 by 11 inch paper and fold it in half. On the top left hand side of the paper write "What My Life is Like Without A Man." On the top right hand side of the paper write "What I Believe My Life Would Be Like With A Man." In the left hand column, describe what your life is like now. Use adjectives and sensory language to paint a clear and precise picture of what your life as a single, unattached woman. In the right hand column, describe what you believe your life would be like if you were in a relationship with the man of your dreams. Make your lists as thorough, complete and EXHAUSTIVE as possible.

Once your lists have been completed, compare them and analyze them carefully. Which list is longer? Do the items on the right hand side seem to be the exact opposite of the items on the left hand side? Does the list on the right hand side seem to indicate that every single aspect of your life would be immensely better if you had a man in your life? Does the list on the right seem more like a fantasy life than a real one? If so, deep down you probably believe being in a relationship with a man will improve your life in every way...and this is simply not the case.

Being in a loving, caring relationship with a man can be add an exciting and fulfilling dimension to your life; but it is not in and of itself the sole determinant of a whether a woman is happy and satisfied with her life.

So if you are entertaining the misguided notion that having the right man in your life will solve all your problems and make all your troubles go away, put this book aside ... for now. Address the issues in your life that are hindering your happiness. If necessary, obtain professional help to surmount these obstacles. Take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Once you've gotten yourself together, continue reading this series of articles. Soon you will be on your way to a happy and successful relationship.

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