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You want to convey a subtle and playful message to a member of the opposite sex. The long version of the message is this: "I find you intriguing. I'm drawing your attention in my direction. I'm studying your responses for receptivity. Don't you agree that I am a fun and fascinating person? So, what do you think?"

You want your delivery to be covert, non- threatening and involve a minimum of personal risk. Brashness is to be avoided, but clarity of intent is desirable. You don't want to offend, but you do hope to get noticed. Of course, you hope to showcase your finest attributes in the process, fan your tail so to speak. So what to do? If you're ten, you hit them on the arm. If you're twelve, you send a friend with a note. By high school, you've developed some kind of repertoire of behaviors that sometimes work, or at least you have a few approaches that you have learned to avoid. Of course, you were the champion of charm during your college years (we all were) and when entering adulthood you indisputably had your flirting game on.

If only life were so simple. The truth is that the mastery of effective flirting is a moving target. The approach that wowed them at one stage of life is like throwing a rotten trout into the room at the next stage of life. Ah, those clever lines and winks that once were so endearing, only initiate nervous shifting of the sort that says "You seem like a nice person and I am embarrassed for you." which is not the desired response. So, if you feel rusty and uncertain, join the masses. Every step of the way, we all have to relearn the ancient art of flirting, remembering that the down and dirty goal is to drum up interest without creeping people out.

If flirting feels trite and disingenuous, then stop what you are doing. The worn-out adage, "Be yourself" applies here. The ways that you communicate your interest to others should fit comfortably in the whole of your personality. Imagine being observed by a person who knows you, say from the workplace as you flirt with someone at a party. If the work colleague would be drop-jawed and aghast by your behavior, then you have probably contorted your personality beyond recognition in order to achieve this flirtatious state that you believe to be so attractive.

People are more perceptive these days, so games are more transparent and sincerity is a more attractive quality than ever. If you are witty, then be clever with words. If you are empathetic, be surprisingly insightful. If you are creative,

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