by Holle Abee

Created on: November 19, 2007

Have you ever noticed how children seem to have a love-hate relationship with their beds? Many children fight crawling under their covers every night, but then the next morning, they do not want to be parted from this same bed they would avoid at all costs just the night before! In the relatively short period of nine hours or so, the children have somehow miraculously formed some deep attachment to their place of slumber.

Let's face it: Parents eagerly await the children's bedtime each night. We've had a long day, and we need some much-deserved peace and quiet. More importantly, a good night's sleep is of ultimate importance for your child's physical, emotional, and mental development. But how do you avoid the nightly battle of the bed?

The most important part of winning the sleep war is to firmly establish a routine. Having a routine gives a child a sense of security, and eliminates arguments because the child learns what to expect every day. The earlier in a child's life the routine is started, the more firmly it will be ingrained.

First of all, decide on an appropriate bedtime. Be sure to keep your child active during the day, especially in the afternoon. Children need some outdoor time every day. Why? Sunlight helps regulate our circadian rhythm, which is our internal body clock. According to my doctor, this exposure to sunlight will increase activity during the daylight hours and reduce activity after dark. Add to that the benefit of exercise and the "tiring out" factor that outside play will induce. It might take a little extra effort on your part to provide outside games, sports, and play, but you'll be glad you did when bedtime arrives.

Let's say you're aiming for an 8 p.m. bedtime. Develop a bedtime ritual, like playing outside from 5-6 p.m., dinner from 6-7, and then a warm bath. Some parents swear by the relaxing herbal bubble baths on the market, so you might want to try one. After bath, take your child to his bed, tuck him in, and read or tell him a story, or just talk about his day. This is the perfect time for a prayer, if you are so inclined. Whatever you decide to do with your child, leave on a positive note. Kiss him goodnight, turn off his light, and make your exit.

Be sure his room is condusive to sleep. It should be comfortable, dark or dimly lit, and quiet. Also, research has shown that humans sleep better in cooler temperatures because the metabolism slows. Being in a cool, dark room, all snuggled under the warm covers, just makes you feel "cozy" and secure - a great foundation for sound sleep.

Remember, the sleep ritual doesn't start at 8 o'clock, it actually starts hours before. Keep this in mind when choosing late snacks, drinks, or even desserts. Pumping up children with a lot of caffeine and sugar is just asking for problems. Offer a piece of fruit for dessert, or even one made with splenda. And instead of cola or tea with dinner, serve milk to your children.

If your child is defiant and fights your routine, make him get up at the regular time the next morning, anyway. Allowing him to sleep late because he didn't want to go to bed at the correct time will just instill the behavior. He'll soon adjust to the routine if you stick to it. Don't give up!

Establishing a regular bedtime routine is not always easy, but it's important for you and for your children. The whole family will benefit from the nightly regiment, and in the long run, everyone will be happier and healthier.

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