My dog did not eat up my writing notes. Would I choose such a clichd excuse? There are no dogs in my home. My pet snails did the job.

When I had finally come home after a long day of work, I realized that the pile of foolscap I had written the first draft of a promising story had been reduced to a heap of irregularly shaped fragments.

I had planned to rewrite it, as that draft had been written last week. I had not been writing since, due to work.

After making a cup of coffee, I finally settled down to the computer to write a story.

I remembered a broken coffee machine and went to fix it, fertilizing the plants with the coffee dregs.
As I fed the plants, spreading the coffee dregs in some pots and watering the rest, I found a mealybug infestation on a basil plant.

Having heard that coffee grounds were fatal to mealybugs, I smeared a lump of compacted coffee grounds on several of the white patches.
The lump dropped off, the mealybugs unscathed but coloured a tasteful shade of brown. In a flash of sudden recognition, I realized the information had been passed down on April Fools' Day. So much for word-of-mouth.

Time to use a formula passed down for generations. From the kitchen, I took a gas gun and went to the mealybug-infested plant.
I methodically burnt the white coverings off the mealybugs, then burnt the naked mealybug.

It was highly effective but painstaking. Finally, I stepped back to admire my handiwork. The basil plant looked worse for the wear, but it would survive.
Just to be sure, I checked the nearby plants for signs of mealybug infestation, killing some snails in the process.

Finally, it was time for dinner. I cooked a leisurely dinner for both my pet garter snake and myself.

When dinner was finished, the dishes were washed, the floor cleaned, an escaped snail chased and put back in its tank with a firm warning and a movie watched, I realized it was time to sleep.
And I still had not done any writing!

Learn more about this author, Hope Chow.
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