by Kelly White

Created on: November 18, 2007

Enforcing bedtime is a crucial step in parenting from the beginning. Creating a sense of relief for your child when it's bedtime can save you anywhere from 4 to 10 years of headaches.

I am a mother of 3 and foster mother of 2. I have many friends with children and the topic comes up with every single parent. "How can I get my kid out of my bed?" "It's a struggle every night to get her to sleep!" "It took me 5 times of dragging my kicking and screaming child into his room to get him to stay!" "My baby is 10 months old and still doesn't sleep through the night."

These exhausted, cranky parents have no idea that the problem most likely stemmed from them doing what they thought was the loving and caring thing to do.

First and foremost, if you have not yet sabotaged your child's sleep pattern, and you are bringing home a newborn, the best advice and hardest to follow would be NOT to feed your baby until they are asleep. Breastfeeding or bottle feeding an infant until the nipple falls from their sleeping mouth creates a surrounding that involves you being there and holding them when they fall asleep. Gently putting them into a cold parent less crib with nothing to suck is a good recipe for an immediate wake up call. Adding a pacifier creates the problem of needing one to fall asleep later on.

Instead, feed them until their sucking slows down or they begin to fall asleep. Burp them while they are slightly awake, and as hard as it is, put the baby into their crib awake.
Cover them, coo to them, but let put themselves to sleep without you holding them or staying there until they fall to sleep. This will cause your baby to love their crib, their blankie and their bedtime. They'll talk to themselves and learn quickly how to put themselves to sleep.

If your child is already trained to need you or some sort of stimulation to fall to sleep, then you have a job to do, but worth it. You can't expect a child who always had a parent put them to sleep or lay with them, or need a ride in the car or stroller to get to sleep to suddenly NOT need that just because they reach a certain age. They have to be untrained. So, just as with an infant, a new routine has to be created to provide them their independence in falling to sleep.

Quiet time at least an hour before bed. No sugary drinks or heavy snacks 3 hours before bed. Brush teeth and use toilet before embarking to their bedroom. A night lite of their choice and a few new bedtime books for you to read while their lying in their bed will

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