by Mj Ferruzza

Created on: November 18, 2007

Holidays have ALWAYS been stressful. The reason? Mainly because you, your family or your friends have been taken out of a comfort zone. It's as easy to explain as the following:
Step One: Imagine you are invited to your aunt's house for Thanksgiving.
This includes... Coordinating travel plans, time away from home, who you are bringing, what you are bringing, what you are wearing, how long you are staying.

Step Two: You have been informed that there may be some tension there.
This includes scenarios that include...combatant siblings, parents, friends or relatives not talking or at war. A new family member by birth or marriage. A missing family from divorce or death. Job loss. Money issues. Drug or alcohol abuse. Illness. Control issues.
Step Three: You note the tension.
This could include...A cold shoulder, family politics, favoritism, a slow burn, an occasional flare-up, a complete meltdown, a melee, a walk out.
Now the new way to reconsider a holiday celebration. These steps can be modified to fit the individual:
1. The holiday will come and go. You can't expect that every moment will be treasured. So lower your expectations that anything will change or be groundbreaking. Go with the flow. And if something does happen, live through it and deal with the outcome on your time, not everybody else's.
2. Play a part. Nothing can be more fun than putting on a good face while others are crumbling around you. Drink one less drink. Eat a little bit less. Volunteer for something unexpected. Challenge yourself to not swear, go overboard, get angry, judge others or seek control over others. Just enjoy the moments that you can while challenging yourself to take on a positive persona.
3. Learn how to say Yes. Learn how to say No...and be firm about it.
4. Keep away from issues on sex, business, money, politics and religion. You want a topic for conversation? Read some popular magazines and take note of stories, jokes and facts from interesting articles. Stay away from long ones. The best topics are ones that strike up interesting conversation and dialog, not ones that set up a heated debate.
5. The best holiday guest never overstays their welcome. Have a set time when you will be leaving or ending a festivity. Have an escape plan or, even better, have a back up plan in case of a possible or foreseeable disaster. Being flexible, able to adapt and the ability to laugh can overcome anything over the holidays.

Holidays have ALWAYS been stressful, that will never change. Just remember...reconsider how you will approach them, involve yourself and get by and maybe, just maybe, you will be considered a new age Holiday Survivor.

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