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Here is your daily news from around the world.

Big Brother Caught Spying on Little Sister
- Little Sister turns out to be NBC Dateline undercover pedophile sting. Chris Hanson reports...

U.S. Invades Alaska
- Local official points out, "We are part of the U.S. stupid."
White House denies it had anything to do with oil.

Mexican Army Trains in California
- U.S. Masses troops along South Dakota border. "We are prepared in case they cross into United States Territory," General in charge says.

France Launches Sneak Attack on Self
-No winner declared. White Flag now the official flag of France.

Rosie O'Donnell Invades Local All-You-Can-Eat Seafood Restaurant
- Ocean runs out of food. Restaurant Manger in disbelief, "She lives up to her image as having a big mouth... and a big stomach as well."

Intelligence Attempts Surprise Takeover of Congress
- Stupidity Regains Control. "Who did what," says Senator returning from lunch.

Ann Coulter's Mouth Attacks Brain
- Brain holds off attack. "I would be amazed if anybody really cared," says Liberal bystander. Investigation launched into what role Mrs. Edwards may have held. Investigation immediately stopped for lack of interest by the public.

Democrats Detach Florida From U.S.
- With shovels in hand, Democrats around the nation merge on the top of Florida and dig for days. Florida last seen floating by Cuba and heading south. "Now we have a chance in '08," smirks Howard Dean.

Russia Invades Turkey
- "We were hungry," skinny Russian Soldier exclaims.

Dog Bites Mailman
- Judge sentences dog to three months at Michael Vicks house.

Clinton Makes Bold Decision
- Today Hillary Clinton made her first bold decision when she chooses tuna fish over egg salad at lunch. Conservatives attack, "She obviously hates chickens and chicken farmers around the world."

Fans Riot at 50 Cent Concert
- Riot erupts after price of concert deemed false advertising.

Ron Paul Declared the Green Candidate
- Raises $5 million on-line in one day. Al Gore upset, "The most I ever raised was $3 million and I invented the internet."

Bigfoot Endorses Kucinich
- Media confused whether fictional character can endorse fictional candidate.

In unrelated news: Kucinich Spots Another UFO
- After further investigation it is determined Kucinich is crazy.

Congress Proposes Opinion Poll Politics
- New Poll would allow citizens to vote on issues. "We have no idea what were doing, but at least we won't be blamed," says one Congressman.

Michael Moore Working on New Documentary
- Reports say film will be about the failures of the GOP. Leading Republican Candidates said to be practicing first State of the Union Address.

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