Imagine how you feel when you thought that you had met the perfect man/woman. From the females' point of view, the guy is "tall, dark and handsome", sweet, gentlemenly, respectful, and whatever good points that will make women fall in love with. After a few weeks or months of being together, you suddenly realise that there are faults in the man that you thought was perfect. He may be a little untidy, always late, impatient, or even chatty. Characteristics that you find rather irritating or not-so desirable will start to surface. From there, half of your conversation could become a critical analysis of his bad habits and how he should act or change.

Many a times, our perception of our perfect other half changes over time, and no matter how hard you try to ignore it, you will tend to speak up about it, and being your honest self, you do not realise that in the bid to try and change him, you have hurt him as well, putting down his self-confidence. This tendency to criticise does not just apply to women; men will also be crtically analysing both women's physical appearances and their mental abilities. Why do such things happen?

This occurs mainly because of human nature. When we first fall in love with someone, we only focus on the good points, and are blinded to the bad points of the person. At surface value, the person seems perfect. However, when we know a person even further, the small undesirable details will start surface, and it will be harder to stay in love with the person. When there is a thought to change the person, it means that you are trying to shape the person into someone you envisage with all the good qualities. But by doing so, you are changing the person into someone else, and if he/she really changes, he/she will no longer be the one you first fell in love with.

When you are truly in love, you will accept the person as how he/she is, and not try to change him/her into someone else. If that tendency arises, it will mean that you are being very superficial. It is impossible to ignore the undesirable qualities, but to change them is also changing the person whom you first fell in love with. You can only try to minimise the bad qualities, and you can still be honest about how you feel to your other half. However, do not force him/her to change into someone unnatural. Put him/her in your own shoes, and imagine how it will feel if you are constantly being judged and corrected by your other half. Mutual understanding is needed in any relationship, and we must be aware that no one can be perfect.

To all lovers out there, if you realise that you are picking out only the faults of your other half, do not continue with it and think that it is nothing wrong with that. Being too critical is dangerous in a relationship, and a time bomb is planted when you start correcting your partner too much.

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