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Wedding jitters can attack even the most loved up of grooms. If you are the best man then it is your job to assist the groom in making the right decision if he starts to waver. Bearing in mind that the decision is going to be a life changing one either way it goes, it is not to be taken lightly.

Perhaps the first point to consider is whether the groom is stressed by the thought of spending the rest of his life with his betrothed, or by the thought of the actual wedding itself.

Wedding preparations can leave the bride and groom very weary. Although planning a wedding can be fun it can also be stressful trying to take everything and everyone into consideration.

After such a mammoth event that is the planning of a wedding, the wedding itself may just feel like too much for the groom who would rather run away.

The question to ask him therefore may be, does he want to run away with his bride or by himself?

If it turns out that the groom can imagine himself in his old age still holding hands with his betrothed, thus meaning that he is very much in love with her, then perhaps the wedding itself needs to be scaled down as this is probably what is causing his cold feet rather than doubts about his choice of bride.

If he still feels terrified of the event but wants to marry, then eloping may be a happier alternative!

The next point to consider is whether the grooms worries stem from an important reason. Asking the groom if he has any particular concerns about marrying his betrothed may highlight some issues which he needs to discuss and think more about before he goes ahead and ties the knot.

It may be that he suspects that his bride to be has been unfaithful. It may even be that he has a roving eye himself and just isn't really ready to settle down with one woman.

Although couples don't get married due to outside pressure as much as they would have done in the past, for some that pressure is still felt.

If the groom or brides family have been pushing the couple toward getting married, and perhaps the bride is especially keen also, then the groom may feel that getting married is the 'right' thing to do. But in his heart he may feel the opposite and his cold feet may be reminding him not to make a big mistake.

By helping the groom to express his feelings and to think more clearly by the use of open ended questions the best man can really be a great friend to the groom in need.

If the groom begins to experience cold feet at the very last moment then it is probable that what he is experiencing has more to do with performance anxiety and blind panic than real concerns about his future.

When this is the case, as the best man you can best help the groom by helping him to remain calm, by telling him to breath deeply and relax and by being the voice of reason.

Learn more about this author, Bridget Webber.
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