by John Smith

Created on: November 16, 2007   Last Updated: March 08, 2009

Six long weeks ago, my beautiful wife and I regretfully had to return home from the best week of our entire lives: our honeymoon. What I learned from this fantastic experience I now pass on to you in the form of five simple rules.

We were fortunate enough to end up in gorgeous New England. We planned the trip six months in advance, down to the hotel, car, and flight, and stopped there. Rule #1: Don't be too scheduled. Be spontaneous, don't plan out every minute of your trip. This leads to stress and lack of spontaneity which leads to a lack of excitement.

Which leads us to Rule #2: Don't go on a cruise. While a cruise can be an enjoyable and relaxing time, it is not a do-what-you-want-when-you-want time. Everything is bam bam bam now here then. No, you can't make love on the sun deck now you've got calisthenics followed by a luncheon followed by dance class followed by tea followed by a formal dinner. Lovemaking's not scheduled until 11:40.

Rule #3: Make spontaneous love. I don't care where, just don't get caught. But do it. Do it twice if you can.

What surprised me the most was the question we received from people every time they learned of our destination. "New England, do you have family there?" Without fail 19 out of 20 people would pose this on us. No, we don't have family there, that's kind of the point. No one we know for 1000 miles in every direction. Rule #4: Don't visit ANYONE. Don't do it, I don't care if you are in the same county, it's about you and your spouse now. This is it, this is the last first honeymoon you've got. Keep it about you, you crazy kids.

And finally, the most important rule by far is Rule #5: Your honeymoon doesn't end the minute you get home. Personally I think it should last until your first anniversary. Keep it going, keep it about you, and whatever you do remember that your new mate comes before you and especially before your family (parents, siblings, etc.).

With that I wish you the best. Good luck and congratulations, go get 'em Tiger.

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