So your heart feels like it's about to leap out of your chest, your palms are more than a little on the moist side, and that certain someone seems to have set up camp in your brain...or are they building a foundation?

I hate to break to everyone, but love doesn't happen overnight. As much as we all want to believe in that romantic fantasy of love at first sight, it's not true. And that spark you feel when you lock eyes with someone across the room? Sounds like lust to me.

Lust is such a primal urge, sending an otherwise civilized human into a state of animalistic frenzy. Our pulse increases as adrenaline is released. Our stomach twists and turns. We just can't keep that goofy grin off our faces! We NEED to be near that person.

When you first meet someone, you go through that initial getting-to know-you phase called infatuation. You're both on your best behavior and sparks are flying everywhere. You cherish every moment you spend with your sweetie and count the minutes until your next meeting. Some people experience an intense burst of energy during this phase and feel like the world is their oyster and that special someone is their magical pearl.

But then reality sets in. Two weeks ago, that someone was all you could think about. But today, you kinda maybe just want to spend some time alone? Maybe go out with some friends? Guess what? The infatuation has worn off and it's time to get real.

At first glance, you might think this waning desire to see your sweetie means that there must be something amiss in the relationship. That's not necessarily true. Just because your adrenaline levels have dropped doesn't mean you have to kiss your crush goodbye. Now is the perfect time to test the relationship's potential endurance, which leads us to

Love, that wonderfully frightening, amazingly horrific emotion that seems to write every song you've ever heard (especially during a breakup, but that's a different story). Many people don't comprehend the different types of love that exists. There's the love that you feel for your family and friends. There's the romantic love that many people mistake for infatuation. And there's unconditional love, which is truly hard to find these days.

When your feelings for someone evolve from lust to love, you will know. You'll become more comfortable with your sweetie and accept all their flaws. You'll have a genuine interest in every aspect of the person they are. And above all, you'll encourage your honey in every way you can muster.

Now, sometimes (ok, all the time for me) only one person will fall in love while the other person is still fueled entirely by lust. If you just happen to be the one full of love, pay attention to the clues the other person gives you. Do they seem genuinely interested in you as a person? Do they contact you frequently or are you the one making all the calls? When they mention the future, do they see you in it?

If it turns out that the object of your affection only sees you as a potential playmate, you need to assess the situation and make a move that's right for you.

Learn more about this author, Rita Garwood.
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